One of 100 great things to do in Melbourne for under $10
the White Hat guide

OK, let's start again. A traditional Aussie burger will consist of:

• a meat pattie (in cheaper establishments, don't enquire too closely about the provenance of the 'meat')
• tomato sauce (not ketchup)
• A little rabbit food (usually lettuce and maybe tomato)
• usually some fried onion
• a toasted crusty bun (often buttered)
• any other condiments you may order
• NO mayonnaise
• NO pickled gherkin

A burger with the lot, however, will contain all of the above, plus:

• fried egg
• bacon
• more fried onion
• more rabbit food
• and, most importantly, Beetroot (known as pickled beets in the USA)

More up-market establishments may use specially made patties with exotic ingredients or local wildlife, their own chutney and rabbit food with pretentious names. Don't be fooled - it's still a burger.

A steak sandwich usually offers excellent value for money, especially for those people who come from countries where beef is particularly expensive. A steak sanga (see above re abbreviations) is similar in most respects to a burger except that a steak (usually a cheaper cut) is substituted for the meat pattie and two slices of toast are substituted for the toasted bun. Variants on steak sangas can be found at most barbecues in Oz.

Most greasy spoon restaurants around Melbourne will make you a burger or steak sanga to take away.

Finally, the humble sausage in bread is almost the staple diet at some time on a Saturday. Any place where 20 or 30 are gathered together, a sausage sizzle will materialise - usually as a fund raiser for some local community group. The standard ingredients are:

• one piece (not two) of soggy white bread
• one 'allegedly' pork sausage, although I believe our Kosher friends could consume it without contravening any religious conventions. The chief (and maybe sole) ingredients seem to be sawdust, floor sweepings, old toenail clippings, anonymous industrial waste and some pink food colouring.
• fried onions (essential - see below)
• tomato sauce
• occasionally, more pretentious stalls will offer cheese or mustard, but these should be shunned as an attempt to corrupt the pure Australian/British heritage.

A curious visitor may ask why we consume this dubious product in vast quantities and why much of our community volunteer economy is based around it? The answer is simple - the essential ingredient (see above). The frying onions smell great and attract you to the stall. The sausage in bread is dirt cheap, you are hungry, and it is ready now. The smell of frying onions keep you seduced until you are about three quarters of the way through your snack and you remember how bad it really tastes. You swear you will never have another one! That is, until the next time you smell those frying onions.

To sample this dish, just follow your nose on any Saturday. You will almost certainly find a stall outside any large hardware chain, at any school fete or at any festival. 

If you want to try a more stimulating variant, look out for Continental festivals, or simply go to the Bratwurst Shop at the Victoria Market.