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The White Hat Guide to The Hotel Windsor

Current planned extensions to the Hotel Windsor

The following tongue in cheek excerpts following the long running adventures of a Melbourne private eye and his work experience student appeared in the White Hat Melbourne Newsletter No.397 of 16th April 2010.

Frank awoke with a pounding in his head. After a while he realised the pounding was coming from the door.

“It’s me – Jason” said the door.
“I’ll be with you in a minute" said Frank. “I’m just finishing the filing.” He looked at the half-empty bottle of spirits on the desk but was unable to remember its genus, so filed it under Murphy D.
“Sorry Jase” said Frank emerging onto the landing. “I had forgotten it was work experience day.”
“It’s called Professional Development and I prefer to be called Jason.”
“Well Jase” said Frank “we need to get on the move. Remember that missing money we’re after from the large numbers of schools that donated their mile of pennies towards the copper dome for the Arts Centre? Well, we’re off to Spring Street.”
“Why Spring Street?”
“Don’t they teach you anything in your Cert 4 in Crime Scene Investigation? Whenever major money goes missing, Spring Street is the first place you look.”

They were walking past the Windsor Hotel.

“They shouldn’t be allowed to alter it.” said Jason with some passion.
“They should leave it the way it was built and not allow some greedy developer to expand it or change the streetscape.”
“Come with me” Frank suggested ushering Jason to the opposite side of Spring Street. “See the four towers?” he said. “One at each end and two enclosing the entrance. The original building of the Grand Hotel, as it was named, built in 1883 extended from the first tower on the corner of Little Collins Street to the next tower. That was it. The rest of the block was a streetscape of mixed, buildings of different heights”
“What happened?”
“A greedy developer came along and expanded the hotel and changed the streetscape for ever. That was 1888. It was happening a lot to accommodate visitors for the grand Exhibition. A number of terraces in Carlton and Fitzroy suddenly got an extra storey without having to go through a planning tribunal regarding changes to the neighbourhood character. So are you saying, Jase, we should demolish the 1888 extensions to the Grand Hotel to return it to its original state?” “No, but they should leave it as it was in 1888.”

“I thought the Grand Hotel was at the other end of town in Spencer Street.” said Jason
“No kid, that was a railways administration building that has only recently been converted into a hotel and within a few years the visitors will feel it’s always been a hotel and the more gullible locals will soon follow suit. No, the original Grand Hotel stood in Spring Street with its impressive new dining room that could also be pressed into service as a ballroom.”
“Yes, I’ve been in there and they have restored the original colour scheme. They should be forced to retain that!” “It depends by what you mean by ‘original’ – 1883 or 1888?”
“Ah, you’re not going to catch me out on that one. 1888, because the dining room wasn’t part of the original hotel. The 1888 building is the one they should be forced to conserve.”

“Well, not quite. The original dining room had a large arched skylight and courtyards at each end with mirrors on the wall to intensify the light and a fairly simple light painting scheme to keep the place light and airy before the advent of electric light. Electric light allowed for heavier late Victorian colour schemes and eventually both the skylight and the courtyards were built over. However Melburnians like to mix and match their heritage. They like the 1880s exterior but prefer it mixed with the late 1890s interior because it’s prettier. That’s why Melbourne is the world capital of Ye Olde Tea Shoppe Style of Architecture. Just look at the Mitre Tavern. Anyway, now we’re on this side of Spring Street you need to keep your wits about you.”
“It seems pretty safe to me” said Jason.
“Don’t they teach you observation in your CSI course?” said Frank. "Look at the small window in Parliament House – why does it have bars on it?” Not waiting for an answer frank continued “Because it’s a cell. Three people have been imprisoned there for contempt of Parliament and, who knows, within a week that number may be increased. And see those two slits high on the wall. They’re rifle slits where marksmen can fire at trouble makers in the crowd. No Jase, Spring Street can be as dangerous as King Street late on a Saturday night, but come up onto Parliament steps and have a look at the Windsor.”

“It was here Jase” said Frank standing on Parliament steps “that the Member for Geelong stood and proclaimed that he had bought the Grand Hotel and then theatrically burnt its liquor license declaring that from henceforth it would be a temperance hotel – a Grand Coffee Palace. So is the early 20th century hotel the one we should preserve Jase?”
“No the 1883 one with the 1888 expansion and the late 1890s internal alterations is obviously the original.”
“Well, what about the rooms. See how the grand balconies are on the lower floors and the smaller rooms for the servants are towards the top. You couldn’t expect important guests to walk up too many stairs. By the 1920s the coffee palace had been sold, obtained a liquor licence and renamed as the Windsor Hotel and elevators had been installed. Should they be removed Jase so that the hotel remains in its original condition? And later, en-suites and fire escapes and air conditioning and other things people expect from a five star hotel were installed. Should they be removed?”
“Well probably not, but otherwise it should be kept in its original condition 1883 condition with the 1888 extensions and the 1890s colour schemes and the 1920s changes in order to preserve the streetscape.”
“Well have a look Jase. Next to it is a 20-odd story building which not even it’s mother could love and behind it is a mish mash of unattractive building mooning Spring Street. A thin uniform curtain blocking that might be an improvement.”
“So you’re in favour of the new development?” “I didn’t say that. I would like to see shadowing diagrams. It would be a pity if this last precinct of the city to be lit by late afternoon sun was to be overshadowed. Then the proposed corner building to replace the Old White Hart Hotel site would possibly have more impact on the streetscape.”
“So what would you do Frank?” “I would prevent the expansion of the Windsor but completely remove the White Hart (Hard Rock Café) building, demolish the Imperial Hotel (it bears no resemblance to the original one storey building which was later expanded by greedy developers - together with the nondescript buildings between it and the Princess, maybe place a replica of the current Imperial next to the Princess thus leaving a sunny open public square with heritage 19th century buildings opposite Parliament House.”
“And how would you fund all this Frank?” “By taxing the operators of the Windsor Hotel.”
“But how could they pay that if they are stuck with a small 19th century hotel that can never be brought to international standards?”
“You don’t learn quick kid, but you learn eventually. Now come on, we’ve got a tunnel to find and I’ve got some old plans of the Windsor.”

“How did you come by those plans Frank?”
“Contacts Jase, contacts. Terry The Tape owes me a few favours.”
“Who’s Terry The Tape?”
|“He’s a surveyor Jase. If your neighbour claims your boundary is encroaching on his land, Terry will come in and sort it out and more often than not it turns that the opposite is the case, and for a small out of court settlement you are prepared to let the matter rest. However, most of the time just does little jobs like laying out the Stawell Gift track.”
“Does he have any qualifications?”
“Of course he has Jase. I’ve seen them myself, and the penmanship is superb. Anyway Terry The Tape was able to get his hands on these old plans of the Windsor and they clearly show the tunnel which will lead to the proceeds of those miles of pennies.”
“Tell me Frank, how come you know so much about history?”
“Well Jase, crime scene investigation is all about finding out what happened in the past, and if you know a bit about what’s happened in the past it means you’re not starting from scratch each time.”