The White Hat Melbourne Newsletter

Archived Newsletter No.50 - 6 June 2003

Contents

Long weekend events
Missing emails
Hidden Gems of Melbourne
Lunchtime Theatre
Historic ship in town
Video library
Aboriginal history
Country Victoria
Why I love Melbourne
Advance notifications
Reader feedback

Long weekend events

You can trot along to Jeff's Shed for the Good Food and Wine Festival. Lots of stalls and information for those serious about their food and wine. While you're at Jeff's Shed you can also pop into Mind, Body and Spirit Festival It features all things alternative (although the strange grey substance they served me last year was not a real alternative to food). On Sunday there is a Japan Festival. If you wear a kimono you get in free. It's a bit cold at this time of year so they probably won't mind if you wear your moccasins as well. Details of these and other events this weekend can be found by going to our home page and choose this weekend from the drop down menu of events in Melbourne.

Missing emails

If you find that certain editions of this newsletter are not reaching you, it could be that your organisation has an over-zealous robot that rejects it because it has decided it is spam. The criteria on which these robots reject information you have asked to receive are a dark secret. In our experience - aol.com rejects just about everything. Some robots will reject this newsletter because it contains the words "Nigerian" and "business" in close proximity. Therefore, if you are not reading this newsletter at the moment you know it is because your robot is protecting you. Similarly, a number of robots declared us to be purveyors of pornographic material and banned us forever because we used the term anal-retentive in a recent newsletter. Various organisations have words that they ban - for instance the word "accountability" seems to block delivery to some places. In the meantime, it may be time to get friendly with your spam robot. Otherwise you might end up being treated like Arthur Rylah's teenage daughter - a mystery prize for the first reader to tell us who she was.

Hidden Gems of Melbourne

Some urban legends of Melbourne

Melbourne like any other city has a storehouse of urban legends. We are not surprised when we see them in our email or hear them in the staff tearoom or talkback radio. However it becomes more interesting when they are transmitted in published books, on the ABC, in school and university curricula and by tour guides. A little rigorous scientific or historical analysis can disprove most of them, so what makes them persist? Here are a few our favourite Melbourne urban legends that have achieved almost 'official' status.

Please note: This section of the newsletter has been removed as it forms part of a forthcoming publication or because it is forms part of our Questing activities. If you find yourself on a tour where the guide is White Hat Accredited they are likely to know the answer to many questions you may have in this area. All guides on White Hat Tours are White Hat Accredited.

More information can be found at Australian Myths & Legends.

Lunchtime Theatre

For those who can't make the lunchtime theatre on a working day, there are performances on the holiday Monday. Theatre and a meal for $8 Details at Horti Hall.

Historic ship in town

Melbourne is a great city to bring up kids. There is always something free or cheap on, and it takes little effort from parents to enhance these experiences and create a pattern of wanting to know and understand. As the twig is bent… For instance, for the next two weekends, the Brigantine,Windeward Bound is in Melbourne. It is presently undertaking the Matthew Flinders Circumnavigation Voyage of Australia, celebrating the bicentennial of Matthew Flinders' voyage of discovery. (Some of you might remember the schoolboy howler stating that Flinders circumcised Australia with his 40-foot cutter.) Flinders was probably the first person to use the word "Australians" and he used it to refer to Aborigines. Now is a good time to borrow the video on Matthew Flinders called A Desperate Fortune (see below on cheap video rental) and watch it with the kids. By the time they visit the ship ($5 per head) they will know his story and the experience will be more meaningful. You might also visit his statue outside St Paul's Cathedral and take out a book or two from the library or find more information from the Internet. Then next time you are driving around the coast you can remember the places connected with him. Then again, you could just give the kids $10 and send them down to the pinball parlour. Details at Matthew Flinders.

Video library

If you want to do things on the cheap in Melbourne, then I recommend developing an interest in the arts. The arts are quietly subsidised to quite a large degree - even though many will argue that it is not enough and not in the right directions. Many times we have been the only two visitors in a free or cheap exhibition staffed by three or more taxpayer-funded attendants. It is like being handed a $50 note at the door just for coming, and I am just as grateful. Please don't complain about this state of affairs - just go along and enjoy them at other people's expense. There are many highly subsidised services out there if you know where to find them. For instance, did you know that ACMI (Australian Centre for the Moving Image - previously known as the State Film Centre) has a video library open to all Victorians? For a one-off subscription of about $80 per year you can then borrow without charge as often as you like and you can pick up and drop off at your local library. There is a limit of 4 videos at a time and you can pre-book your videos on the Internet. So do the arithmetic - if you borrow a lot of videos and want access to a lot of Australian stuff (eg documentaries and old TV programs that you can't get from your local video store) it may well be worth joining. We use the ACMI shop at Fed Square as our local video lending place.

By the way, the video on Matthew Flinders mentioned above (I think it is an ABC co-production) is available there. (It may not be ABC, but it shares characteristics with a certain style of documentary that can be seen from time to time on the ABC - a little, pompous, self-righteous and rather sloppily researched - for instance at one stage the ship sets sail in 1803 and arrives at its destination in 1802) However is still useful background for kids. The thing I find most offensive about this production is that it makes significant reference to Flinders' cat, Trim, but no reference to his remarkable Aboriginal guide, Bungaree.

Aboriginal history

Last week I said I would tell you about Melbourne 10,000 years ago. I lied. I haven't had time, but maybe next week. After all, what's one extra week after 10,000 years?

Country Victoria

It's the annual event you've all been waiting for - the Casterton Kelpie Festival. Did you know that the kelpie originated in Casterton? For those of you with scars on the ankles that have never really healed, go down and tell the people of Casterton what you think of them. There are film festivals in Sleepy Hollow and Warrnambool and food and wine events in North Eastern Victoria and the King Valley. Port Fairy has a music festival and Mildura has an eisteddfod. If you want to learn how to pronounce eisteddfod, there is the National Celtic festival at Portarlington. Welsh, Scots, Irish and some Celts grudgingly acknowledged from the continent. After a few pints of Guinness the waters of Swan Bay can start to look a little like Galway Bay.

Why I love Melbourne

Why do I love it?
Well, take last weekend.
Friday night.
Time to take some guests on a night tour of Melbourne. Down to the Trades Hall. Have a political argument with some of the old regulars. They assure me "You're wrong comrade!" but we'll take up the conversation next week. A delightful group for the tour - six are from Perth so I had better speak slowly. Out into the night and through the back alleys. Two beggars in Bourke Street mock me that they will earn more than I do tonight. Into the Imperial for a break in the tour - have a chat with some of the regulars; tell an MP from over the road what I think of one of his current policies. Then it's time to head into the night again. Some prominent citizens on the steps of the Melbourne Club recognise me and we exchange some good-humoured banter. At the end of the tour, a number of people who had never met before decide they are going off to have dinner together. They invite me, but I decline. What will I eat - maybe the Waiters' Club? No - I cooked Italian last night. Down to a cheap Asian bar. "Ah - Indian Mee Goreng again sir?" That's real service - for a $7 meal (and let me tell you, it is good) they remember my favourite. Who needs tablecloths? They never remember my favourite at Florentino Grossi - maybe I need to go there more often. Walk home through the back alleys. Meet the two beggars from Bourke Street - and yes it's true - they have earned more than me for their night's work.
Saturday
Friend's birthday tonight - better get a present. Down to the South Melbourne Market to buy a present. I don't normally have curry for breakfast, but the Indian stall there occasionally does a wonderfully spicy aromatic fish curry provided you know what to ask for. Then out to inspect a property in beautiful downtown Ardeer. Walk through several places for auction. Have a conversation, with an elderly Ukrainian, two Vietnamese children and a young slick gentleman of indeterminate parentage but who did have some videos in the back of his car that might be of interest to a cultured gentleman such as myself. I declined his offer. Back home then walk off to a surprise birthday party in the city at a fine dining establishment. A number of old friends and an interesting collection of people I had never met before. Conversation ranges far and wide, as it does at dinner parties. Birthday girl was suitably surprised - she'll be even more surprised when she reads that her gift came form the South Melbourne Market. Can have an extra red wine because we can walk home. Walk home through the Vic Market, which is being cleaned and preened for the next day.
Sunday
Breakfast at the Vic Market then down to Fed Square. A number of new exhibitions at the Ian Potter Centre. Some great stuff - I'm going to have to come back and spend more time later. However, today is a religious holiday - St Kilda are playing. Off to the Gee. Plenty of seats but I prefer to stand. First and last goal of the match kicked by a young Aboriginal footballer playing his first game and lots of magical stuff in between. I exchange spirited opinions with the gentleman next to me who has tatts and brown and yellow spiked hair and barracks for the opposition. We agree to disagree on most issues except the standard of the umpiring. Back home through the falling autumn leaves of the Fitzroy Gardens - stunning. Stop off at the front of St Pats to chat with Daniel Mannix about the progress of his team. Drop into the cathedral for a few minutes - it's at its best in this light. Wander on home. Cook up some wonderful fresh food from the market. Settle down to watch the box - nothing on - never mind I taped Landline earlier today. Glass of red wine - watch the city slowly put on its nightclothes. That's why I love Melbourne. I can think of very few places in the world where I could spend a weekend like that for so little cost, speak with people from all areas of society and never feel threatened. On Monday morning I consulted my email. Several with much the same message - "I'm bored - there's nothing to do in Melbourne."

Advance notification

The week of 14-20 June sees the re-opening of the dome at the State Library. Lots of free events for families and others. Details in the next newsletter.

Reader feedback

"Loved the article on Birrarung Marr. It answered all the questions I had about the place. (Love the park as well)
Jan"

"Just wanted to thank you for yet another great edition. In particular I enjoyed the piece on John Batman. The majority of native Melbournians never studied their own history when at school and may be surprised at what they find if they research it. One disappointment though was that you did not mention the fact that William Buckley was amongst the Aboriginals who met Batman and his party on arrival. You might think that I am being over zealous here but I am astounded by the fact that Buckley is so little known by modern Australians, even the ones who commonly use the phase "Buckley's chance". Buckley lived an adventure that shows up "Robinson Caruso" for the fairytale it is. Buckley had no doubt about who occupied Melbourne prior to settlement, spoke the native language and expressed his love of the local Aboriginal people and their way of life. Still, keep up your informative and entertaining newsletters! Kind regards
Ken"

(Don't worry Ken. We will be mentioning Buckley when we get to that stage in our potted history.)