The White Hat Melbourne Newsletter

Archived Newsletter No.86 - 1 July 2004

Contents

Prepare your child for university
The art of marketing
Dance
Music
Country Victoria
Bluestone
Market watch
Forums
Other stuff
Subscriber feedback

Prepare your child for university

Richmond Library has children’s workshops on making paper planes. Your child will find this an invaluable skill in the lecture hall at university. There are also junior tennis clinics where they can expand their vocabulary for conversing with the umpire, footy clinics where they can learn the rudiments of post match celebrating and puppet workshops where they can learn the art of manipulation. Details of all these at Family & Children's Activities in Melbourne.

The Art of Marketing

Back in the year 19 (mumble) we thought that backpackers might be interested in learning more about Melbourne than was offered in the current guide books and tours. Although we had plenty of marketing experience, we were directed to ‘the experts’ in the area of marketing to backpackers. I had brought along some carefully prepared copy, some professional photographs, and put them into what I thought was an aesthetic layout. We were then walked through the process the specialists would take to turn this into first class sales material. First they would take the copy and insert some random speeling misstakes, as well as some syntax and punctuation errors. The next process was to grunge the photograph so that it looked like a third generation photocopy. They used a novel process for this – they made a third generation photocopy. Finally came the graphic layout. The copy was written in small uneven handwriting. This sometimes took several attempts to make sure the copy didn’t quite fit the page and had to continue up the right hand margin.

The purpose for all this trouble, we were told, was “because backpackers are discerning travellers and want to do something more real and genuine than the experiences on the mainstream glossy brochures”.

We didn’t use the services of that or similar organisations. However I haven’t abandoned all the lessons learned. It only takes a short time to write this newsletter in well-crafted purple prose. It then takes many hours to go back and insert all the spelling mistakes and mangled syntax that finds its way to your inbox.

Dance

Sydney Dance Company opens a new Graeme Murphy work this week.

At Fed Square there will be an attempt on the 18th to set a world record for numbers of participants in a Zorba Dance The purpose is to raise money for our Olympic team for Athens. I am confident that our City Council will enter into the spirit of the original Olympics by requiring all male participants to be naked and executing any female caught watching.

If watching a group of sweaty men with arms around each others shoulders trying to come to terms with rhythms that can’t be found on their aging rock albums isn’t your cup of ouzo, and then you can try the Paris Can Can at the Regent. I am sure that in the spirit of the original can can – but that’s another story.

Details of all these at Dance in Melbourne.

Music

Performances by the Flinders Quartet and an organ concert for the 4th of July. Details at: http://www.whitehat.com.au/Melbourne/Music/Classical.asp

Country Victoria

The World Balloon Championships are being held at Mildura. I’m told the balloons look even more spectacular when viewed through a wine glass. Details at Major Events in Country Victoria.

Bluestone

Bluestone talks.

You need to stand very still and listen, but it talks. Certainly in the city and inner suburbs. The best time to hear it is in a lane on a winter night after some rain. The blue-grey sheen is peculiarly Melbourne and the bluestone has seen it all. It was here long before the first Aborigines, long before the white man and will be there long after the current spate of tilt slab cement buildings have crumbled.

Sandstone doesn’t talk. Try standing in a Sydney lane. Sandstone doesn’t talk, it just gradually crumbles. Listen – you can hear it crumbling. The tiles of the Opera House will be glistening long after much of the sandstone has disintegrated.

Countless numbers of horseshoes and iron-rimmed cartwheels barely make an impact on bluestone. Hundreds of thousands of hob-nailed boots can wear a furrow that is still visible. “Tough times, tough men” says the bluestone. Bluestone has been used to keep tough men out and to keep tough men in. William Stanford carved a prominent Melbourne monument from bluestone whilst serving his time in Pentridge. He later carved the tombstone for himself and his wife from bluestone. It will be standing long after the sandstone monuments to more prominent citizens around them have crumbled.

Bluestone gives Melbourne its formal blue-grey palette. In these surroundings it would be disrespectful for the women of Melbourne to wear anything but black.

In the lanes you will see bluestone in all its forms. Formal cobblestones, some with markings from Tasmanian convict gangs, rough and ready back walls similar to drystone work (“You don’t have to be too fancy out the back” says the bluestone), personal touches added by various inhabitants over the years. A practised bluestone listener will be able to interpret many of them for you.

I was involved in a conversation with a particularly handsome cornerstone in North Melbourne when we were disturbed by an excited group from the nearby youth hostel. They were off to “understand what it’s really like to live in Melbourne” by doing the Neighbour’s tour of Ramsay Street. They had read about it on a handwritten flyer. We let them pass, but the cornerstone was now silent.

Bluestone talks, but only at certain times.

Market watch

Very fragrant fresh curry leaves are currently $2 a bunch at the Vic Market. It looks like curried potatoes tonight.

Forums

There is a free talk and art forum at the Arts Centre.

There is also a Mietta’s Forum entitled “Are the young disengaged from public life? No bloody way!” There is also a Buffy Downuder Conference at the casino. The relative attendance at these two events will be instructive given the question posed by the first. Details at Forums in Melbourne.
 

Other stuff

There is a boat show at Jeff’s Shed,  a newspaper cartoon exhibition at the library,  the start of the Antipodes (Arts) Festival and an orchid Festival at Maribyrnong.

Subscriber feedback

“Being a relatively recent newcomer/migrant to Melbourne, I've enjoyed your website tremendously becoz I've been able to get ideas on what to do during weekends. The newsletter is a bonus in that it is often through the articles and irreverent, flyaway comments that I grasp little historical snippets about Melbourne that would prove invaluable should there be a new Trivial Pursuit game on Melbourne. The White Hat newsletter is truly a valuable community service, especially to newcomer/migrants like myself. Thank you for that.
Chet”