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The White Hat Melbourne NewsletterArchived Newsletter No.100 - 7 October 2004Contents
Melbourne FestivalThe Melbourne Festival starts this week. There are free events each night in Fed Square and as well as a range of cabaret style entertainment at the Spiegeltent. There are numbers of major performances that look quite special. Far too numerous to mention.
Other festivalsThis weekend is the North Melbourne Spring Fling. Details at Community Festivals. There are fetes at Ringwood and Parkville. Details at Fairs & Fetes.
Seven Deadly Sins of MelbourneSin No. 4 - IndignationI was taking an accustomed short cut down the alley on my way to the Arts Centre when I noticed the group pasting up posters. There was no real problem as I am used to blending into the background. They had the pale complexion often associated with herbivores. I observed the artwork and could see from its distinctive rejection of conventional perspective that it was heavily influenced by the Sydney Road Restaurant Mural School. However the message was clear enough and the politicians concerned were clearly recognisable. I attempted to slip quietly past but forgot that I was dressed for a black tie event which made it very clear that I was ‘them’ and they were ‘us’. They quickly circled me in the manoeuvre known as ‘isolate and jam’. They proceeded to explain that what they were doing would change people’s thinking. They also explained that they represented ‘the people’ and were determined to make Australia a more open and tolerant place. They also pointed out that they as artists were uniquely placed – they had not experienced or attempted to understand whole sections of society which meant they that could stand back and interpret with a ‘clear mind’. I thought briefly of discussing Plato’s concept of the artist in society. However, on looking into their eyes I could see that the education of at least some of them had been of a chemical rather than classical nature. I next contemplated escape. After all I was probably stronger and faster than them – there are some advantages to the evil lifestyle of an omnivore. But in the end I knew I was in no real danger unless I made any sudden movements or attempted to express an opinion that differed from theirs, and that I could eventually take my leave with little more collateral damage than the mist of spittle that often accompanies passionately held beliefs. Eventually I stated that they had a right to be indignant and that what was expressed on several of the posters was correct. My statement was true but incomplete – as were the posters. However it seemed to serve as suitable ransom to secure my release. I was happy to continue on my way and they were happy that their art had already ‘made a difference’.
Hall of Shame/FameLast week’s reference to a plagiarising website produced a hasty acknowledgement on the page in question regarding the source of their material – something that communication through their web forms over the last year had failed to do. Next week another recidivist.
FranchisingThere is a franchising expo this weekend at Jeff’s Shed. Details at Jeff's Shed Of course, Madame Brussels from Little Lon can be regarded as the mother of the franchise system in Melbourne, but as this is a family newsletter we won’t give any details.
Reader feedback
Seven Deadly Sins of MelbourneSin No. 5 – Smugness (Lengthy so I suggest you jump to the next section) I arrived late at the Arts Centre due to my detour through the alley. The event was being sponsored by some purveyors of inoffensive but overpriced plonk I had already sampled earlier that week so I opted for a beer. This was a mistake for someone wanting to fade into the background. “Darling, I haven’t seen you for ages. Do have some of this wonderful drop – everyone thinks it’s divine” she said removing my beer and replacing it with the emperor’s new Shiraz. I wondered if 'everyone' meant 'the people'. “And where are you now? Are you still involved with the arts?” she continued. I made smalltalk about some of the things I was currently doing but made the mistake of mentioning that I also write a little newsletter. “Where DID you get a grant for that?” she asked excitedly. I tried to explain that no grant was involved but was too late – they had sniffed funding and were starting to form a circle. “It’s only an email newsletter associated with a little business I’m involved in” I said. “Oh, an eeemail newsletter” Prue said in a tone of distaste she once reserved for the words ‘mobile phone’. “Of course I have never been involved in business and I always tell my students that I’m hopeless at maths. The circle nodded in agreement. As educators they wore their lack of experience and understanding of whole areas of human endeavour as a badge of honour. “Is that why you were late?” said Prue. “No, I was attending a lecture on art” I said. “Ah art is the only thing that changes man’s thinking, and the artist is the one true beacon in society” chimed in George. George was a one poem pony. No matter what subject area George was required to prepare, it always came back to the same poem. It had served him well over the years, as lecture content, dinner party material and pick up line, and judging by tonight’s performance he was intent on whipping this pony through to retirement. I pondered whether to mention that Auden said that poetry changes nothing and that George’s man was an apologist for Cromwell’s slaughter of the Irish. I looked around – they had the complexion that comes from a diet of champagne and cheese cubes and I realised their education had been a postmodernist rather than a classical one. I decided against pursuing that line of discussion. I wanted to extricate myself but knew that in order to do so I couldn’t make any sudden movements or express an unapproved opinion. At last there was a glimmer of hope. I spotted a friend in a neighbouring group, caught her eye and raised my glass and left eyebrow in an expression that said “beam me up Jenny – there’s no intelligent life here”. She acknowledged with a sadistic smile that clearly said “suffer!” There was nothing for it. A sacrifice had to be found and a suitable one was working the room nearby. Not exactly a virgin sacrifice but she looked capable of taking care of herself. “Have you met George?” I said. He has some fascinating theories on the poetry of Andrew Marvell”. I made my escape under cover of George’s verbiage. I made a brief circuit of the exhibition but decided I would return with more congenial company on a quiet day. I now only had to wait for an appropriate moment to negotiate my way across the room to the exit. "They always put the emphasis on the WE” George was saying “but it really belongs on the HAD”. The ritual sacrifice was looking intently at George who took this to be fascination. I, on the other hand, recognised the concentration of a person with business and maths skills calculating how much superannuation would have been accumulated by an academic who now had time’s winged chariot hurrying near. I spotted my chance. George at this stage had finished with HAD and WE and had moved on to NOW. Prue was deep in conversation on her mobile phone. I slipped safely into the night.
MusicGeorge Benson is in town this weekend. Details in the mainstream media. There is an Italian Jazz Festival at Jazz in Melbourne. And a suburban musical – Bye Bye Birdie Details at Theatre in Melbourne.
Melbourne Past & FutureThe Heritage Victoria Labs have one of their open days where you can examine artefacts from Melbourne’s past and see how they are conserved.Then there is an Age Conversation Series entitled ‘Where to Now for Melbourne?’ Prue and George will be there. Details at Forums in Melbourne.
Country VictoriaThere is a particularly wide choice in the country this weekend. Ballarat has Flowers & Music, a Statewide Philatelic Congress, a Stamp & Coin Fair, the Goldfields have Mountain Bike Orienteering, Port Fairy has their Spring Music Festival, Wodonga has a photography forum and Kyneton has trad jazz. However one exhibition I am likely to go out of my way for is sculpture in the bush in the Southern Grampians. The sculptures have been chosen in association with the McClelland Gallery and are displayed in natural bushland. It should provide an opportunity to absorb the works in solitude and maybe discuss with a passing echidna whether art can change people’s thinking. Details of all these at Country Victoria.
Life & DeathIf you believe in the benefits of good food there is a Palestinian Cooking Day on Sunday. Details at Food & Wine in Melbourne. If on the other hand you believe in the benefits of a near-death experience, there is the Melbourne Marathon. Details at Forums in Melbourne.
PostludeIt was good to be back in the fresh air. As I passed the alley I saw my friends taking photographs of themselves in front of their handiwork. “At least they’re doing something and not riding on the back of other people’s art” I thought. I wondered if any of them would make the transition such as Lin Onus did from in your face indignation to actually influencing people’s thinking through the disarming power of humour. Home wasn’t far away along with a drop of inexpensive but very pleasant Shiraz. I was ready for bed but checked my email first. There was an email from someone called Hillary concerning the nature of art. Should I read it now or in the morning?
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