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The White Hat Melbourne NewsletterArchived Newsletter No.143 - 23 September 2005Contents
MusicTonight there is a free organ recital at St Pats given by a visiting Croatian professor. Sunday is the High Street Northcote (not far from the giant dog) Music Festival with bands throughout the day and night. On Saturday there is a concert at Fed Square called ‘100 Women on Edge’ – gentleman, don’t try sneaking in late for that one. Michael Buble (insert random accents over the vowels) is performing at Hamer Hall. Next week the musical Ooooooklahoma opens for a short run at the Arts Centre. On Sunday there are two concerts of contemporary classical music in Toorak together with a talk by Andrew Ford. If you didn’t hear his excellent series ‘Fashion and Music’ on the ABC they are still available to read or listen to on the archive at the ABC website at although we should warn you that fans of Eva Cassidy, Andrea Bocelli, David Helfgott and others may well be upset by programme 4. Details of all these performances at Music in Melbourne.
Virus warningIn recent months we have been receiving numbers of emails, ostensibly from the administrator at White Hat, telling us to click here to update our details. If you receive email which appears to be from White Hat be vewwy vewwy careful. Many viruses use ‘forged headers’ meaning that the email appears to come from somewhere respectable such as White Hat whereas it really does not. If in doubt send us an email directly (rather than using ‘reply’) to enquire whether the email is legitimate. We use industrial strength virus protection and keep your email addresses in a secure location (three steps north, two steps east, then dig) and over the years believe we have never sent an infected email because we know what that can do to your computer. On the other hand we take no responsibility for what reading this newsletter can do to your mind.
The Big DayPeople have been waiting all year and finally the big day is nearly here. The scalpers are claiming high prices – there are fights in the queues – people are scrabbling for autographs. It’s the ABC Gardening Show at Caulfield Racecourse. Details at Flower and Garden Festivals in Melbourne
Negotiation SkillsOn Tuesday night there is the grand final of the young lawyers’ negotiation skills contests at the State Library. We always enjoy seeing some of our best and brightest from all areas strut their stuff. We have used our own negotiation skills to secure free entry for White Hat subscribers. It probably wasn’t much of a triumph because everyone else gets in for free as well, but we won’t mention that when we list it amongst our achievements on our CV. Details at Forums in Melbourne.
Reader feedback
Sharon, my dad warned me about the harm that can come to a good looking lad such as myself venturing into such premises, but if any of our readers have suggestions we will forward them on to you.
Barb - we'll see what we can find out.
Thank you Malcolm (bows and modestly blushes to applause). The answer is simple – lack of quality control. If certain parts of the talk-based-industries secure an arts grant they will appoint some poor sod to write the newsletter then spend most of the money paying themselves to sit in interminable meetings to “approve” or “disapprove” of what is written in the belief that approving is more important than doing. At White Hat we have no such quality control – and it shows. We have occasionally been known to use a spellchecker but have found that even this was a waste of resources because certain of our subscribers would do this anyway. At White Hat we believe that Victoria could halve its crime rate if offenders, instead of being sent to gaol, were forced by a community service order to sit in such meetings for a week. They would swear never to re-offend.
United Nations Peace DayTo celebrate United Nations Peace Day, Australia has promised to send Barry Hall as a peace-keeping force to any of the world’s trouble spots. Meanwhile, for those who have recovered from the Earthdance dance party for peace there is another opportunity to party for peace at the North Melbourne Youth Hostel Peace Festival. Details at Community Festivals in Melbourne.
School holidaysThe Melbourne Show continues and there is a performance of Cinderella in the Edinburgh Gardens. Details at Children's Activities in Melbourne. The kids have possibly been to the major museums since many schools outsourced that part of education, but they would possibly enjoy many of the smaller museums which are often free or cheap. Try for instance the Railway Museum at Williamstown or the air museums at Point Cook and Moorabbin. Details at Museums in Melbourne.
The Saga ConctinuesBeing the true and franchised history of the White Hat.I emerged onto Elizabeth Street. I had expected it to be somewhere in the nineteenth century but it was just like it looked every day. There was the sound of trams, spruikers from the Vic Market, the trainee beauty therapists waddling their way to the institute, the pedestrians abusing the cyclists, the cyclists abusing the motorists, the motorists abusing the traffic wardens, the traffic wardens abusing the buskers, the buskers abusing the ears of those who just wanted a quiet coffee without bad recycled music from another era, and the coffee drinkers abusing the pedestrians for bumping their table. “This is very, very, very disappointing” I said to myself. “Quiet” said the hat “over there is the first clue to the mystery. And I’ve told you – if you have no better grasp of the language than to repeat a word three times because you don’t know a better one then it is wiser to stay silent”. “This is not going to be a happy relationship” I thought.
Some other stuffMelbourne Writers’ Theatre commences a season of local work next week. Details at Theatre in Melbourne. A new exhibition of rarely seen exhibit has commenced at the Royal Historical Society. Details at Exhibitions in Melbourne.
Country VictoriaThis weekend there is a country music festival in Mildura where everyone will be speaking with an American accent, a Daffodil Festival at St Erth where everyone will be speaking with a Peter Cundell accent, and the Mahogany Ship Symposium in Warrnambool where everyone will be speaking in a pirate’s accent. Details at Events in Country Victoria.
Advance noticeThe following weekend is the Johnston Street Fitzroy Festival, a tree planting day in Royal Park and toddler’s book reading at the City Library. In the bush there is the Deni Ute Muster, the Albury/Wodonga Food & Wine Festival and the Grampians Wildflower and Art Festival and an interesting looking open garden event to raise money for the Trentham CFA.
The White Hat QuizHow well do you know Melbourne?First to last week’s quiz and a combination of your answers. Many of them contain too much information and there is a danger of this degenerating into a sort of ABC nighttime radio trivia quiz. Never mind, let’s proceed.
Now to this week's quiz. Much of Melbourne as we know it has been shaped by business and commerce:
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