The White Hat Melbourne Newsletter

Archived Newsletter No.157 - 6 January 2006

Contents

Are you fed up with . .
Bored kids
Dubious relatives
The old witch who . .
Talks, talks, talks!
We have the answers!
Leave home
Enhance your physical attributes
Find a new partner
Move to Caroline Springs
and
Have some fun before you die

Are you fed up with . . .

 . . . Christmas carols? Then it’s time to get out and clear the brain with some live music. At 11am on Saturday at Fed Square there is a free concert by Australian and Japanese youth bands. Then at 6pm is the first of a free 3-concert series called Summer Twilight Voice & Jazz. On Sunday Ian Brown performs at The Forum. He used to be with a band called Stone Roses last century. Also on Sunday is a country music festival at Red Hill in the Mornington Peninsula where you can go along and cry into you Cabernet Sauvignon. Then on Thursday at the Arts Centre is the opening of a musical about Dusty Springfield. I have been plotting the opening dates and subject matter of musicals on a graph, and I figure that by about September we are due for Perry Como – The Musical.

Bored kids

Do you need something to do with the bored kids? The Myers Christmas windows finish this Sunday. On Wednesday at the Botanic Gardens there are children’s’ activities and entertainment with The Shenanigans. Also this week there are two different sets of free circus workshops. Circus Oz will teach you basics of circus games and tricks on Saturday at the Alexandra Gardens. Then on from Tuesday to Sunday you can learn aerialists techniques of bar and trapeze at the City Square. Both events appear to be designed for both children and adults. However be warned that if you are accompanying anyone between the age of 4 and 28, they are likely to be strict devotees of Bishop Berkeley’s philosophy and know that it hasn’t happened unless it’s on video.

Dubious relatives

This week at the Comedy is the opening of a play called A Couple of Blackguards written by Frank McCourt (Angela’s  Ashes) and his brother Malachy. Max Gillies & Max Cullen play the parts of the McCourt brothers along with those of a number of other colourful characters as well.

The old witch who . . .

 . . . flies on her broom and brings children gifts on the eve of the Epiphany. La Befana is actually a good Italian witch and her story is being celebrated in Lygon Street tonight (Friday). It is worth promoting the tradition of La Befana in your household. That way you can buy everyone’s presents at Boxing Day sales prices. There are activities including a parade, commedia, entertainment, face painting and camel rides. Families all invited to the Scampagnata, picnic in the park! 6pm community play The Legend of La Befana.

Talks, talks, talks

There are tons of free talks lined up this year in Melbourne. For instance on Sundays there are free talks at the Arts Centre by artists whose work are on display at the Archibald Prize exhibition. Details at Forums & Talks in Melbourne.

We have the answers

to last week’s quiz about beaches.

Please note: This section of the newsletter has been removed as it forms part of a forthcoming publication or because it is forms part of our Questing activities. If you find yourself on a tour where the guide is White Hat Accredited they are likely to know the answer to many questions you may have in this area. All guides on White Hat Tours are White Hat Accredited.

Now to this week’s Quiz - Melbourne architecture.

1. Where would you find grain silos that have been converted to apartments?
2. What famous Melbourne building is in the ‘blood and bandages’ style?
3. Where would you find the hamburger and the ice cream cone?
4. What mystical structure / work-in-progress would you find near the Yarra in the Dandenongs?
5. What Melbourne building incorporates multiple images of the Sydney Harbour Bridge as part of its décor?

Leave home

If you are stuck at home in Melbourne, why not get out and make a weekend of it in the country. This weekend is the Pier to Pub Swim at Lorne. There is a youth festival at Inverloch called ‘Waterfest’. On Sunday there is a food & wine festival at Foster called ‘Tastes of Prom Country’. Details at Events in Country Victoria.

Enhance your physical attributes

From the White Hat Inbox

At White Hat we receive many emails every day, most of them inviting us to enhance our physical attributes. Here are few other examples from our inbox.

“Our neighbours gave us a copy of your newsletter and we would like to receive it. We don’t believe in the internet so send printed to copies to the following addresses..
Julie and Martin”

“We suggest that you send your newsletter to the tourist information booths and hotel concierges around Melbourne. Most weren’t aware of many of the wonderful things listed in your newsletter which sa visitors we found very frustrating.
Sonja”

Sorry Sonja, we undertake not to send our newsletter unsolicited.

We also received the following personal message.

“hi from portc. were in a gr8 house owned by joshs mums new boyfriend. josh sez weve got to be nice to the boyfriend even tho hes a pain so that the relationship can last till the end of the hols. 3 of us came down in karls station wagon but he has to travel at nite cos it makes so much smoke. nathan arrives tomorrow. cant wait!
love n”

Find a new partner

Are you looking for a new dancing partner? Starting on Sunday 15th January there are a series of free dance sessions at the Fitzroy Gardens. Details at Dance in Melbourne.

Move to Caroline Springs

Starting on 13th January, housing estates at Caroline Springs, Edgewater, Craigieburn and Pakenham are all having community festivals. Needless to say, sales staff will be in attendance pointing out the benefits of moving and display homes will be open, but there is still plenty of family entertainment. For instance you could take the kids to the free spooky outdoor movie on the night of Friday 13th. More details in the next newsletter.

Have some fun before you die

Kerry Packer has left the building. He certainly enjoyed the good life and in later years knew he was living on borrowed time. He was notorious as a gambler. One of our favourite Kerry Packer stories (possibly apocryphal) involves him at Vegas becoming increasingly annoyed at one of his fellow players, a Texas oilman who was big-noting himself. Eventually Kerry asked “how much are you worth, mate?” “100 million!" said the other proudly. Kerry looked him up and down, stared at him for a short time and then said “I’ll toss you for it.”

Now that Kerry has gone there are only three major media players left in Australia - Rupert, Kerry Stokes and White Hat. Rupert is no longer an Australian citizen, Kerry Stokes will send himself broke paying for the AFL, so that puts the pressure on White Hat.

Kerry Packer always stressed the importance of having a good sub-editor. He said they not only tidy up the syntax but keep an eye out for messages hidden in places like the table of contents. Maybe White Hat needs a good sub-editor.