The White Hat Melbourne Newsletter

Archived Newsletter No.168 - 31 March 2006

Contents

Festivals
Bush dance
Children’s stuff
Food
Lectures & workshops
Reader feedback
Free club membership
Country Victoria
The White Hat Quiz

Festivals

In the past three months Melbourne has had fireworks displays of unprecedented numbers and size. We suspect this is part of Steve Bracks’ strategy to use up any available gunpowder before November 5th. As a result, the Kew Festival starts this weekend and culminates with fireworks the next weekend. There is also the Williamstown Festival on Sunday and the Yakerboo Community Festival in Pakenham on Saturday. Details at Community Festivals in Melbourne.

Bush dance

This weekend there is an Australian Bush Dance at the Austrian Club. We don’t know why there is an Australian Bush Dance at the Austrian Club although maybe that the only way it could get access to a multicultural arts grant. Details at Dance in Melbourne.

Children's stuff

On Saturday there are Baby Proms with classical music presented specially for kids aged two to six. Also on Saturday is Story Time at the City Library which is always on the first Saturday and third Tuesday of the month. For the older ones it is worth checking out the flying displays at Point Cook which occur three days a week and where the kids can get interact with the pilots. Details of all these at Children's Activities in Melbourne.

Food

This weekend is the Taste of Montsalvat Festival where, as well as sampling the food and wine, you can also visit the local artist’s studios. On Sunday at CERES Park is a harvest festival with, we assume, an emphasis on organic and wholefoods. Details of both at Food & Wine Events in Victoria.

Lectures & workshops

The Thinking Games forum continues at the Capitol Theatre. There is a lecture on Persian art in 500BC. There is also a lecture on conceptual art by Dr Rommer. Details of all these at Forums and Workshops in Melbourne.

Reader feedback

“I print out your newsletter at work and take it home for the family. I know you say that it has to be reproduced in full, but I’m sure you will understand why I had to delete the information about the singalong Sound of Music. If I hadn’t, life would have been unbearable for the next two weeks.
Martin”

“Hi there I enjoy your newsletter:) Noticed in the 'country' events in the letter, for not this weekend but next, you mentioned the [Basin Music Festival] festival. I wouldn't class it as being in the country, it's the next suburb to Boronia in the east. Maybe next week you can mention it again and re-classify it :) The band I'm in have a spot in the festival on the Sunday morning... that's how I know about it!! Thanks.. keep up the good work.
Lyn”

Thanks Lyn – Info on the Basin Music Festival can be found at The Dandenongs.

“Dear WH, I always enjoy your newsletter but your latest was one of the finest. I thoroughly enjoyed the "What Makes Melbourne Special?" article. It was a masterpiece and I considered it worthy of saving to my documents folder for future reference.
Congratulations LS”

“Dear Mr Hat, I'm afraid this may be the first of several emails from a group you may come to know collectively as "Angrys of Geelong". Unfortunately a mild bucketing in necessary for your suggestion that Melbourne can lay claim to fathering (or mothering, or even surrogate parenting with help from DHS) commercial refrigeration. After all, if Melbourne DID produce the first commercial refrigeration unit one would think there would be a public structure named in honour of the inventor. Can you name one?? Note, however, the James Harrison bridge in Geelong, an ugly structure which nevertheless commemorates the man who made frozen fish fingers an exciting possibility.
Mildly Angry of Geelong”

Dear MAG
You are right of course. Melbourne only has a plaque where James Harrison built the first commercial refrigeration plant in the world, but Geelong has a bridge named after him. So, for those of you who spend your weekends looking at bridges why not take a trip down to Geelong. You could start by heading over the Westgate Bridge. You could then take a detour near the Western Ring Road interchange into the suburb of Brooklyn where there is a bridge over an industrial drain. It’s a nice enough little bridge but, we must admit we can’t understand why people get so excited about the Brooklyn Bridge. Continue down the highway to Geelong and head to the Western Beach. There at beach level you will find a number sculptures depicting significant people from Geelong. One of the first you will encounter is James Harrison (see a photograph on left) there is certain stiffness about his bearing, and as you proceed towards the Eastern Beach you will see that the artist has captured with uncanny accuracy the stiff cylindrical physique that characterizes the inhabitants of Geelong.

Occasionally an outside family may wander into Mallop Strret and you might hear a child say “Mummy. Mummy. Look at the shoppers. They all look like bollards”. The mother will reply “Hush dear. That’s not polite. Besides they don’t know they look like bollards”. If you drive through the city centre and out the other side you will soon reach the James Harrison Bridge where you can walk over it, under it, photograph it and generally ponder a dying age when Australian children were prepared to study maths and science, become engineers and build bridges. If it has reached mid-afternoon then don’t ponder too long. It is time to head off before you get caught in the crush of people heading in from all around the Bellarine Peninsula to enjoy Geelong’s night life.
Now, MAG, I know that has been a bit lengthy. However, as you pointed out, I needed to do something to stop any more angry emails arriving from Geelong, and I think that should do it.

Free club membership

Quite often we receive press releases and other information which is ‘embargoed’ – it cannot be released until a given time. That is why this newsletter occurs late in the week. However this week we have received information which cannot be released until 7am tomorrow (Saturday). This is a particular problem because we know it would be of special interest to our readers, and by the time the next newsletter comes around the special opportunity will have gone. For that reason, we will publish it on our website tomorrow morning and give you what background information we can without breaching the embargo.

Melbourne has a long history of secret and little-known clubs. Some were secret because members faced persecution for their religious or political views. Some more exclusive clubs make the choice to keep a low profile – anybody who needs to know where the Melbourne Club is will already know. Thus when the National Trust placed a heritage plaque on their building which contained the words ‘Melbourne Club’ it was soon removed and replaced with a more anonymous plaque just mentioning dates and the name of the architect. Other clubs, such as the MCC were well-known and your parents enrolled you at birth. Others are hidden up back lanes, such as the Buffalos Lodge we mentioned in a previous newsletter.

Membership of many clubs requires referrals from existing members and often quite hefty annual fees. However, from time to time, some clubs recognise an imbalance in their membership which they have been unable to correct and so for a short time offer free memberships to outsiders who can help redress the balance. Thus some clubs may be short of younger members, some may be short of females, some may be short of people from the arts community, some may lack experienced retirees who may be available during working hours. Such a club has approached us with a number of free memberships available but the details are under embargo until 7am tomorrow and may well be withdrawn by lunchtime if all memberships have been taken up.

We cannot tell you the details now, but the following information may prove useful.

In the early days of Melbourne, Governor Bourke from Sydney engaged his military surveyor Robert Hoddle to lay out the grid of Melbourne and later to conduct the first land sale. The land sale yielded 2,420 pounds and Hoddle was given 4% commission for his work as auctioneer. With his commission of 285 pounds Hoddle purchased a block of land for himself and, with several others, set up a club. With the gold rush, the club became quite influential but remained low profile, preferring members of intelligence over members with wealth or high station. During the 1880s it played host to such people as the King of England, the President of Singapore and the Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union.

By 1920, government had moved to Canberra and the ability of the club to ‘make a difference’ by influencing the parliament of the day had diminished. The club rooms were moved and have remained in a well-known public building through which thousands of Melbournians walk every day little knowing what is behind some of the doors – particularly the one over which is the quote from Shakespeare’s William IV “Be welcome here, all ye of gentle spirit and inquiring minds”. From that time the fortunes of the club gradually improved. A syndicate within the club bought a gelding which sired a number of successful racehorses and the members donated most of the spoils to the club resulting in the current luxurious state of the clubrooms. The club currently has some free memberships on offer to people who can help redress their current imbalance. For details go to Club Membership after 7am tomorrow Saturday.

Feel free to forward this information to a friend, but we advise you forward this section in full as they may be required to answer some questions, the answers to which are in the section above.

Country Victoria

This weekend is Shakespeare in the Grampians, the Lunarfest Vintage Festival at Red Cliffs, the Gems’n’Gold Festival in Moe, the Mortlake Buskers Festival, Yackandandah Folk & Buskers Festival, Harvest at Heronswood (featuring heirloom plants), Ballan Autumn Festival, Man from Snowy River Festival in the high country, Gear Grinder Motorfest in Maryborough and the Andersons Mill Wine and Jazz Festival.

If you don’t want to venture too far from Melbourne, you could try the Lara Heritage Festival. Lara has a lake (which like many other municipalities around Victoria it is trying to keep hidden lest they be given a large metal fish whether they want it or not and then have to pay the maintenance on it for decades to come) and you can tell from the slightly wooden, cylindrical demeanour of the locals that you are getting close to Geelong. Details of all these can be found by going to our home page and choosing the appropriate weekend from the drop-down menu of events in country Victoria.

The White Hat Quiz

No quiz this week due to lack of time and space. It will be back next week.