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The White Hat Melbourne NewsletterArchived Newsletter No.334 - 16th October 2009Contents
Melbourne FestivalThe Melbourne Festival continues to be the main source of events in town with lots of free and paid events. Details at The White Hat Guide to Cultural Festivals in Melbourne.
Multicultural Hub Open DayThis weekend the Multicultural Hub opposite the Vic Market celebrates its first birthday. For those who watch ‘The Librarians’ on ABC, a Multicultural Hub is like a Multicultural Pod only larger. Details at The White Hat Guide Ethnic Festivals in Melbourne.
Captain Cook's Cottage - 75th AnniversaryThis weekend there are celebrations at Captain Cook’s Cottage celebrating 75 years since it was shipped to Australia.
Last Week's QuizGraeme was first with his answers to last week’s quiz concerning weather reports so here are his answers:
Markets & FairsThis week there I a Primary School Fete at Montmorency, a car boot sale and mini fete at Montrose, a one-ff market at Parkdale Primary School, a family market day at St Matthews in Fawkner, a baby and kids market in Geelong. Also there is the first Endeavour Hills Farmers’ Market. For details go to our home page and select the appropriate month from the drop down menu under market planners.
Melbourne Cycling FestivalThis weekend is the Melbourne Cycling Festival in the Alexandra Gardens. Details at The White Hat Guide to Cycling in Melbourne.
The White Hat PuzzleLast week we asked ‘What is the shortest list (ie fewest names) of Melbourne suburbs you can create that feature all 26 letters of the alphabet?’ Here are some of the responses.
Now to this week’s puzzle. What is the longest list of Victorian town or city names you can create where no town repeats a letter that has occurred in another town? (For instance Omeo and Melbourne couldn’t both occur on the list because they have three letters in common.) By ‘longest’ we mean the largest number of towns.
Australian Ballet School Open DayThis weekend there is open day at the Australian Ballet School. If you think you can’t afford to send your child to the Australian Ballet School then think again. If they go to a suburban dance school there will be the annual concert which lasts for 4 hours. Your child will be under psychological pressure to sell the 20 highly overpriced tickets they have been allocated. Then there is the price of the costume and of course no video cameras are allowed because you have to buy the ‘official’ DVD for the same price you would pay for Fonteyn & Nureyev and you will be under pressure from your child to buy copies as presents for family and friends. No, the Australian Ballet School is looking a pretty good proposition. Better still, you could encourage your child to run away and join the circus. Details at The White Guide to Dance in Melbourne.
The ScreamMove along. Move along. Nothing to see or learn here. We suggest you move along to the next section. Move along. Frank awoke at his desk with a pounding in his head. After a while he realised it was pounding on the door with a voice saying “It’s me – Jason.” Frank reluctantly dragged himself for dreamland where he had no bald patch and that dame’s legs went on for ever into the land of everyday reality. “I’ll be with you as soon as I finish the filing.” He filed the remains of last night’s whisky under ‘R’ for rotgut and allocated several bills from his desk to the circular file. Frank emerged onto the landing. “Sorry I’m a bit late Jase. I forgot today was work experience day.” “It’s called professional development, and I prefer to be called Jason.” “And I’d prefer that Lenny had bought some legit Scotch rather than that dodgy stuff we had last night. Life doesn’t always give you what you prefer, Jase. Now come on, we’re on the trail of a TLA.” “A TLA?” “”A TLA Jase. A three letter acronym! Anywhere there’s a TLA you know there’s something dodgy. Don’t they teach you that in your CSI course?” “What do you mean, dodgy?” “You know Jase, if you’ve got something to hide or cover up you give it a TLA. Kentucky Fried Chicken doesn’t want their customers thinking about the unhealthy aspects of deep frying so they call themselves KFC and suddenly their stuff is healthy. Direct Factory Outlets have no factory in sight so its not direct so they call themselves DFO even though probably only the ‘O’ is true. Wherever you see a TLA Jase you know someone is trying to hide something.” “You said Lenny The Pen was around last night.” said Jason. “That’s right.” said Frank. “A couple of months ago we were at the Waiters Club and I was going through my mail. I opened the statement from the ANZ and when I saw the interest they were charging on my credit card my jaw dropped open and I clasped my hands to my cheek. ‘Hold that look’ said Lenny and he quickly sketched me on a napkin. ‘It like just like Edvard Munch’s The Scream’ he said. I didn’t think much of it until I realised he’d entered it a competition for a new logo for ANZ. He straightened it up a bit but it is still clearly someone with their hands clasped to their cheeks screaming at their bank statement. He had sworn to go straight after his last scam with the new City of Melbourne logo and said he’d have felt more honest if he’d walked into the bank with a mask and a gun and taken the money over the counter, but I suppose once the con-man, always the con-man, and after all you can’t feel guilty about scamming a TLA. Anyway we’ve got a standing invitation to visit him in Barbados.” “Where are we going?” asked Jason. “We’re off to investigate an NGO where something is OTN.” Said Frank.
GodspellThe musical Godspell opens next week in Heidelberg. Full details at The White Hat Guide to Musicals in Melbourne.
Reader Feedback“Dear White Hat, The longest single tram journey is from Spencer Street to Vermont South (tram 75).
The fastest game on legsThis week there is the National Lacrosse League competition ay Hisense Arena (previously Vodafone Arena). If you have never watched lacrosse you may be surprised at its speed and skill levels. Details at The White Hat Guide to Sport in Melbourne.
Classical musicThis week you can listen to Brett Dean with the Australian String Quartet, hear Faure’s Requiem and Saint-Saens’ Organ Symphony at the Town Hall Proms, attend Handel’s Solomon, enjoy the Flinders Quartet at Montsalvat or flute concertos with the ACO. Details at The White Hat Guide to Classical Music in Melbourne.
Pedants' Dating ServiceSarah and Damien were in animated discussion about abbreviations. “Don’t you find it fascinating” said Damien “that when a word like department is shortened to dep. then it should be followed by a full stop or period to indicate it is an abbreviation, but when the abbreviation contains the start and end of the word such as in Dept then it shouldn’t be followed by a period?” Sarah did find it fascinating. “Why don’t you stay home with us?” Sarah asked Kyle – Damien’s flatmate. “I think it will be a fascinating evening.” “I thank you for your enticing invitation” said Kyle, “but I’m taking Kate shopping tonight. For underwear.” “I didn’t think Kate was the type to wear underwear.” said Sarah icily. “She usually doesn’t,” said Kyle “except for special occasions – and I’ve a feeling tonight is going to be a special occasion.” “Anyway, what about super?” asked Kyle. “You know – super as an abbreviation for superannuation or superphosphate. It is an abbreviation so shouldn’t it have a period after it?” “Abbreviations like that shouldn’t be used at all.” said Sarah. “But Sarah, language evolves – it moves on.” “Not if I have anything to do with it.” said Sarah. “Then what about universally accepted units like km and g for gram. They’re abbreviations but it is not considered proper usage to place a period after them. And what about Hz and degrees K – why are they capitalised – I find that more interesting.” said Kyle “What do you think Damien? . . . Damien?” Damien’s mind was still back with the discussion of Kate’s underwear. “I . .” he said hastily “I agree with Sarah.” Will tonight prove to be a special occasion for Kyle and Kate? Should Australia Post refuse to deliver mail where the address does not have a full stop after Mr and Mrs? Should Damien take Sarah shopping for underwear? Find out next week . . .
Maroondah Fun RunThe following weekend is the Maroondah Fun Run. Last weekend’s fun run had 5km and 10km courses that were shorter than their advertised length so these may be shorter again. If I wait long enough they may start to come within my range. Details at: http://www.whitehat.com.au/Melbourne/Activities/Walking.asp
From the White Hat InboxWe had the following personal message: “hi from portc were looking after joshs mums bfs place & he got grumpy cos some of his favourite indoor plants died & i said how did i know they needed water & i thought was y they were indoors & anyway i thought id cheer him up by getting some new plants & i went 2 the market & bought some cactus cos the dont need water & i was going 2 buy a venus flytrap as well but crystal said that was cruel & we should only buy vegetarian plants & the hunk i told u about from lake mountain came down but it turned out all he wanted 2 do was 2 get in2 my nickers so I sent him packing cos all i want is some1 who appreciates me 4 my mind. luv nat”
The White Hat QuizTLAs
And, as a supplementary question to be adjudicated by Sarah and Damien –
No prizes – just glory and a warm inner glow. White Hat is dressed by Forges of Footscray and flies QAN.
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